When parents separate, children often become confused or angry or withdrawn. Some kids feel lost and hopeless while others feel relieved. Each child will react differently. How a child is told or finds out about their parent’s ending relationship is important. How they feel about themselves and their level of maturity may cause uncharacteristic behavior. Crying, despair, being rude, throwing things, being violent, wanting to be alone or being depressed, is common. Their world has changed and it’s beyond their control.
Separation often sparks hidden feelings in parents. A parent may feel relieved yet their anger spews out for all to hear. Sometimes a parent immediately starts a new relationship, triggering strong emotions in others. Each family member, whether you’re a mom or dad, child or other family member, may become quite rattled.
When parents love their children, in a healthy manner, it’s almost impossible for a parent to do well when their child struggles or is suffering. Likewise, if a parent is wrestling with hurt feelings or confusion or anger or financial worries, children feel their parent’s pain even if the parent tries to keep their problems to themselves.
Fractured families need all members doing well so children can move forward with their own lives in a healthy manner and moms and dads can evolve into their new life.
If one member of the fractured family struggles, all members will struggle in their own unique way. When both parents are able to rise to the challenge of putting their children’s needs first, in a mature and responsible way, all members can move forward in a healthy manner. There will be many challenging moments but the road forward will be easier.
It’s important to remember…….